The idea of incorporating your newly combined family into the wedding vows alone is creative and unique. And what better way for the bride to make a vow to the groom and his children and vice versa; than to add this moment to the wedding! Talk about a moment to remember. Not to mention, you’re making the kids apart of a very special and life changing event, many children have difficulty adjusting too.
Another benefit of blending family vows with your wedding vows is the friendliness of the gesture towards the kids. This makes both set of children more at ease with their position in the family unit as opposed to it just being them and their single parent like before. Plus it offers reassurance to the non-custodian and custodian parents their child is in the couples’s best interest and accepted equally among the kids.
How to Blend Family Wedding Vows
1. Don’t address the vows as questions that require the children to respond. You’re more likely to create an embarrassing moment than a treasured one this way! This is especially true, if the kids are having trouble adjusting to the marriage. There’s no telling what they may say, so don’t give them the opportunity to prove a point or divert the attention from the wedding.
2. Never refer to yourself in your vows as the “New” or “Another” mother or father. This can generate animosity among the children not to mention an affront to their other parents. Instead refer to yourself as another parent or guardian. This is a more flexible title that’s less offensive.
3. Keep the wedding vows basic and genuine. Plainly put! Don’t try to overdo it, stay sincere and eliminate all the melodrama. For example: ” To (list the children’s name), I vow to be the best parent possible and treat you all with the same kindness, love and protection I give my own, no less and no more!”
4. For older children try including them into the wedding precession as well! For example; have the soon to be son-n-law give the bride away and have the soon to be daughter-n-law escort the groom.
5. Giving gifts to the children is an ideal way to show your devotion to the newly extended family. Try offering the child (ren) a family unity ring made from silver with their name and the wedding date engraved. For example; the bride presents the rings to the grooms children while reciting her blended family vows and vice versa.
6. Offering the children the opportunity to light the unity candle during the wedding vows is an especially touching token! Having special candles engraved with their names and the wedding date can be a great way to get the children involved in the ceremony.
The wedding is obviously a special time for you both, as a couple, but by incorporating elements to include your families and children into the ceremony, you will add to the special memories begun on your wedding day.